"Do Not Discard!"

Join this bionic grandma in her battle against "the wrinkled years."

"Do Not Discard!"

Life’s Little Surprises

I GOT THE SHOCK OF MY LIFE TODAY. I went in for an x-ray to test the strength of my bones. It’s been years since I had one and being a pro-active soul, I wanted to know how this old gal’s skeleton was doing.  I come from a family of un-broken bones and I fall all the time without injury, except to my pride. That’s what happens when you’re training big dogs to be well-mannered service animals and you have a lazy left leg.

I’m waiting for the results.

The shock was in my height. I haven’t been measured by any doctor in years.  I go in, the nurse asks, “How tall are you?” I say, “Five four,” because I’ve always been 5’ 4” tall. And they weigh me.

This time the technician stood me against the wall and said, “Five, two.”

“No. That’s wrong. I’m five, four.” And she measured me again. She was right. Somewhere, I lost two inches.

I know we shrink as we get older, but I walk one or two miles a day with a big dog. I do hard labor in the garden year round— even shoveling my own snow. Yet, somehow I lost 1/8-inch from between most of my vertebrate.

I feel betrayed.  But shrinking explains a lot. I’ve wondered where the new role around my waist came from. Now I know. As I shrunk the skin had nowhere to go. No wonder I can’t get rid of it by dieting. It’s just there. And I’m creakier and hurt more after pulling weeds, mowing the lawn or stringing new wire fencing. But my back rarely hurts. It’s usually everything else that aches from doing things a gal my age shouldn’t do.

My beautiful granddaughter is 5’2” and since high school has bewailed the fact that she is a “peanut” in the eyes of the world. She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m happy to be a peanut still standing beside her — but I really wish my feet would stop growing.